Dr. Foo Hands

theambiguoushero:

I am vengeance.

I am the night.

I

am

(via kira892)

isurvivedthekobayashimaru:

I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”

And I think I actually scared him because his eyes got kind of wide and he just walked away.

(Source: shesdonejim, via supermattural)

escapistaz:

If we’re friends, there’s a 106% chance that I’m always petrified that you secretly hate me.

(via lickthegerman)

aepicstranger:

thisretrodreamisneverending:

In physics the other day my teacher started having this coughing fit

so he says ‘I THINK SATAN IS CHOKING ME’

and I just went ‘Sorry’ and he stopped coughing

omg I think everyone in my class is terrified now.

i am still laughing at this from like twenty minutes ago

(Source: neverendingretrodream, via heinoushellajeff)

barricadeponine:

i wish i was a mermaid so i could have a nice shiny tail and a pretty seashell bra and a beautiful voice that i could use to entice cute boys and make them crash their ships and drown at sea so human women could rise as the dominate gender of the land

(via irldothewindything)

shit-wentz:

if i ever become famous i’m going to create a fake account on twitter and tumblr and be part of my own fandom and i will be like bffs with my fans and we’ll fangirl over myself but they would have no idea it’s me

and then one day i would call them on skype and see the blood run out of their faces

(Source: hellyeahnikita, via irldothewindything)